


Evil Wizard AU

by djinmer4



Category: X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, F/M, Necromancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-25 20:29:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 17,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17128223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/djinmer4/pseuds/djinmer4
Summary: Alternate Fantasy Universe fic created on Tumblr.





	1. First Impressions

“I don’t think there’s anything else to do,” reported Doug Ramsay. “We’ve exhausted all our leads.”

Logan shifted uncomfortably behind his desk. “I think I’ve got one more contact who might know something useful for you. Not sure if letting you talk to him is the best idea.”

“Wolverine,” Brian Braddock, leader of Excalibur, took up the thread of the argument. “We know the Hellfire Club is also after this artifact, and they’ve got a lot more resources than we do. This isn’t a case of we can hope someone else gets it first. If we don’t find and destroy it,  _they’ll_  get it and will use it. If you know anything, anything at all we’ll take it.”

“Alright, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“ _First thing you should know, the guy’s a necromancer.”_

_“Like Jude?”  
_

_“ **No.**  Jude may be a necromancer, but he specializes in calming the restless dead, fulfilling last requests and generally protecting people from vengeful spirits. Jude’s a good guy. The guy I’m sending you to, this is the guy could give lessons to all the evil wizards and sorcerous overlords and dark archmages that you’ve ever heard of.”_

The first clue that they were in the right place was that the circus they found was nearly dead silent. Most encampments of this size were a hive of activity. People would be shouting orders, animals would be sounding off in displeasure, things would topple over and crash. This place, none of that occurred. The animals made no noise and stood stock still to be handled. People didn’t speak to each other, and every move they made slid past each other as if choreographed. Nothing fell out of place or was put down too hard or off-balance. “Well this is creepy,” said Doug. “I thought Logan said this guy had a few living minions mixed with the corpses.”

“He sometimes has human minions,” corrected Brian. “But not always, and when he’s out in the woods like this, I guess he doesn’t feel the need to pretend.”

A voice called out from one of the dark wagons. “Are you the people Logan wanted me to talk to?  _Bitte komm rein_.”

The rest of Excalibur looked to Doug. “Er, he said, come in.”

_“Second, this guy looks like a demon. Think like Nocturne and Salamander, but much worse. Don’t freak out too much when you see him, or he’ll get offended.”_

The man in the wagon certainly lived up to his reputation. He had blue skin, waist-length white hair, and beard, and was covered in scarification patterns. His eyes were completely gold, with no pupil or iris to be seen. His hands were malformed, with only two fingers and a thumb on each. He had pointed ears that peeked through his hair, pointed fangs that flashed when he smiled at each of them, and a pointed tail that he used to pour tea for all of them.

The sorcerer half disappeared in the gloom of the wagon. Behind him, gold eyes reflected the light and shifted about, indicating many somethings watching them in the dark. The low light made it difficult to see anything around them, and the members of Excalibur huddled together, afraid of bumping into anything.

“So Logan told me you’re searching for an artifact of doom of some sort?”

“That’s right,” Brian once again took the lead on the conversation. “Logan said you might be able to help us retrieve it or at least know it’s location.”

“That might be possible. Do you know what the name of the artifact is?”

“The name is another thing we’re missing. But we do have a description of what it is and what it does.” The blond gestured to Kitty, and she reached over to pass a copy of the description to the sorcerer.

“ _Third, this guy is very expensive. You might not be able to afford his help.”_

_“He seems pretty mercenary in that case. What happens if you can’t afford it, does he take your soul?”  
_

_“Nah, he’s upfront about it. No payment, no information, help or goods.”  
_

_“What does he do if people are asking for help with a plague or a war?”  
_

_“He’s not all bad. If someone asks for help because of a natural disaster or a plague, he’ll actually work for free. Everything else though, you pay through the nose.”  
_

_“Even a war against a tyrant or trying to find an artifact for safekeeping?”  
_

_“Yeah. He’s said he’s seen too many revolutions become worse than the old regimes when they win and too many well-intentioned heroes become monsters to have any faith in people.”  
_

_“Geez, how old is this guy to be that bitter?”  
_

_“_ Oh yes, I  _made_  this one. Xian ran off with it years ago, not that it did him any good.” The sorcerer turned the paper over and conjured a quill to write with. “Before we go any further, here’s how much it will cost you.” He wrote out a list on the back then handed the sheet over to Brian. The head of Excalibur checked it over and went dead white.

“ _The good news is, the guy’s a lech. Since you do have several pretty women as part of Excalibur-”_

_“I’m not whoring my people out just to get some information!”  
_

_“Hey bub, you’re the one who said he’s desperate. And it’s not like the guy will rape anyone, he just wants something pretty to look at. Tell him you’re not interested and he’ll back off. But he might be willing to reduce the price for a date.”  
_

Brian swallowed then passed the price list to the rest of Excalibur. When Kitty received it she could see why the blond had panicked. They definitely could not afford this.

“I’m open for negotiation.”

“Well we don’t need the name, and we’re planning to get it ourselves so we don’t need your help either. As for the location … I don’t suppose you’d be willing to take a partial payment and receive the rest later?”

“I only accept credit if I know the party well or will be going with them on their mission. Otherwise, it’s too much work to chase them down.” The blue man turned towards the other members of Excalibur.

Rachel frowned at him. “Isn’t it a little rude to start hitting on people when you haven’t even given your name?”

One hand waved in a desultory fashion. “I’ve had so many names over the eons, it hardly matters to me what you use. Kemmler, Captain Bluetail, Darkholme, take your pick.”

“Who’s Kemmler?”

“Wasn’t Captain Bluetail a hero?”

“I’ve heard of Darkholme. He was a master assassin several decades ago.”

“You know what, you can just call me Kurt. No one’s used that name in a while.”

“Kurt,” Kitty tested it out. “You sure you don’t want something like Numair Salmalin? Or Elminster?”

The sorcerer smiled and leaned forward to rest his chin on his hands. “Kurt’s short and easy to remember And what are the names of the lovely ladies here?.”

Brian cleared his throat. “Fine,  _Kurt_ , if anyone’s actually interested … “

To the surprise of no one except Cerise, gold eyes turned to Meggan first. She bristled. “I’m Meggan and I’m engaged.”

“Whoever you’re engaged to is a lucky man,  _fraulein_.”

“That would be me.” Brian quickly took Meggan’s hand and frowned at him. Kurt just smiled and turned to Rachel next. She looked him up and down, then sneered. “Rachel. And I’m afraid you’ve got the wrong parts to attract my interest.”

“But  _fraulein_  I have extra ones!” His tail waved to attract attention. He turned to the last member of their party. “And what’s your name,  _fraulein?”_

 _“_ Cerise, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” Brian reminded her.

The Shi’ar refugee just shrugged. “Why not? This sounds like the type of thing you humans do for fun. I might as well try it out once.”

“ _Wunderbar,”_ Kurt grabbed the paper and scribbled a new number beside the middle line. When Brian looked at it, he gave a sigh of relief. “Now, are you in a hurry or shall we take the evening off?”

“We’re in a hurry,” Brian insisted. While Kurt gave the details of where and how to gain the artifact, Doug leaned over to whisper in Kitty’s ear. “Jeez, so what are we, chopped liver? He didn’t even ask for our names!”


	2. Hypothermia

Once, when out drinking, Logan told Kitty you would always tell a situation was truly fatal because time slowed down. They’d gotten into an argument about whether a situation could be considered fatal because Logan had clearly survived (she argued it didn’t count, he stated that a normal person would have died so it did) and Kitty had always assumed Logan had been messing around with her. She didn’t think so now.

As Selene directed the wall of water at her, Kitty realized several things. One, the tsunami was too big for her to phase through. Two, Brian was too far away to rescue her. And three, the wave was going to throw her straight over the cliff and probably snap her neck when she hit the ground.

Kitty had just enough time to close her eyes and scream before the water hit her.

* * *

Kurt was not pleased. He’d come into the city to pick up some supplies for his circus (ropes and nails that had worn out, food for the handful of the living) and walked straight into a superpowered fight. On one side was the sorceress Selene and on the other was the new guild that Logan had sent to him (he recognized Captain Braddock). He wasn’t feeling particularly inclined to help either side but he didn’t feel like just knocking them all out to solve the problem. Things would probably be less troublesome for him if he just waited it out.

Well, that was his intention. He watched for a while, mentally critiquing the fight, tallying up the mistakes made by each side when something changed. Selene had separated the two Excalibur members, who were using their superior cooperation to make up for the fact they were desperately overpowered. She then conjured a giant wave of water at the girl to get her out of the way. Selene turned her attention back to Captain Braddock.

Kurt had been in fights like this before. He knew what would happen. The girl went straight over the cliff at the edge of the city and started to plummet. They just high enough that the fatal impact would only take seconds.

Then he noticed Captain Braddock’s face. The way he saw the water carry away his teammate from over Selene’s shoulder. The horror when he realized what would happen to her. And most damning, the resignation when he turned his attention back to Selene.

That infuriated Kurt. He didn’t have many moral standards, but even he wouldn’t leave a teammate to die just because it was convenient. How could Captain Braddock possibly call himself a leader if he was willing to sacrifice someone just for a chance at taking down the target? And not even a good chance, Kurt could feel Selene gathering her power, ready to shift to mist and escape.

Well, let him suffer his humiliating loss. No reason to let his teammate die for her captain’s ego. A loud BAMF! and Kurt was no longer standing by the edge of the broken marketplace, but instead beside the young girl in the water. Another puff of smoke and they were both gone.

* * *

Kitty woke up shivering, with the crackle of a fire in her ears and the scent of woodsmoke in her nose. Something heavy, velvety and warm surrounded her. It took her a few moments, but then she remembered what happened. Brian, the sorceress, the wave of water that had overwhelmed her and going off the cliff. Huh, she hadn’t expected to wake up after that.

She struggled to reach full awareness and gave a low moan of pain in the process. That much water at that speed had hit her like a flagstone. She felt bruised all over, and her ribs felt broken. The warmth that surrounded her moved and pulled away a bit. “You’re awake?”

She took a deep breath then coughed it out. “Yeah, kinda.” Whoever was with her carefully sat her up and held a cup of something warm (not hot) to her lips. She gingerly sipped at the warm liquid (she was too out of it to tell what it was) but was only able to finish half before weakly pushing it away. The other removed the cup and helped her settle back down.

It took some effort but she opened her eyes. To her surprise, her rescuer wasn’t Brian or Rachel or any other member of Excalibur. Instead, she was confronted by the blue-skinned (or rather blue- _furred_  as she had just found out), ancient, fanged, necromancer who went by the very conventional name of Kurt.

“Er, hi?”

“Hello.” He reached over and grabbed some red fabric, tucking it in to keep their body heat in. “Sorry, I had to remove your clothes. They were completely soaked.” She looked down. Aside from a set of panties on her, they were completely nude. “Hypothermia?”

“I would have stripped you naked but people tend to scream when I do that.”

She closed her eyes. “But you felt comfortable removing  _your_  underwear.”

“What makes you think I was wearing any in the first place?” A sharp pinch to her upper arm made her open her eyes again. “Hey don’t fall asleep on me. I need to check if you’ve gotten a concussion or have any frostbite.” He leaned forward, careful to prevent his beard drifting in her face.  _Fascinating_ , she thought.  _His eyes are completely featureless. No pupils or irises._  “Okay, your pupils appear to be the same size. How many fingers am I holding up?”

“One. You’ve only got three per hand!”

“Good, good. You remember that too. Now follow my finger without turning your head.” He moved it slowly back and forth. “You’re tracking fine. No concussion then.” He lay back down and pulled her back against his chest. “I’m going to test your sensations in your limbs. It’s going to hurt but I won’t draw blood.”

“Ow!” He carefully prodded her with the sharp end of his spade tail. After maybe ten minutes of this with he pronounced her fine. “I should have expected that. It’s cold tonight but not that cold. You’re in no danger of freezing, though the low core temperature is worrisome.”

“I’m a little surprised though. The great sorcerer has to rely on the same first aid we lowly norms do. No healing for necromancers then? Our healer Faiza would have fixed my ribs and heated me up by now.”

She felt more than heard the rumble of laughter. “Well, no one can be good at everything. I don’t have any healing at all. I could repair your ribs, but I’d have to rip your skeleton out of your body to do so. And if I tried to warm your blood, I’d just burn you from the inside out.”

Kitty traced the scar patterns she could see on his hands. “So what are your specialties then? I know about the necromancy but what else?”

“Research mostly. If you’re asking what I awakened with, that was teleportation.”

“Wait.” She tried to turn around but was held in place by arms of steel. “You can teleport and didn’t bring us back up to the city after catching me?”

“I can teleport myself with no problems. But it puts a great deal of strain on other people when I bring them with me. I’ve killed people that way before. I didn’t save you only to have you die of shock from teleporting while injured. I did send a message to Logan and Captain Brian though. They’ll send a party down tomorrow to airlift you back up.”

“Oh, I guess that makes sense.” There was a short pause then he started up the conversation again.

“You might want to leave Excalibur when you’ve recovered.”

“Why?”

“Your Captain didn’t even try to rescue you when you went over the cliff. I’m sure you’d rather belong to a team that valued it’s members rather than sacrifice them needlessly.”

Kitty snorted. “He made the right decision. I was too far for him to reach. Brian can fly, but he’s not a fast flyer. Besides, could you imagine trying to catch me at that speed? At the rate I was moving, it would have been as if I’d hit a brick wall.”

“I caught you easily enough.”

“Yeah, but you caught me before acceleration really kicked in. The Captain wouldn’t have made it that fast and then wouldn’t have had enough time to slow me down before I hit the ground. I still think he made the best of a bad situation by concentrating on Selene.”

“And I think he’s wrong,” he grumbled.

“Oh like you care!”

“I did rescue you.”

“You could have stopped the fight at any time before then. I know there were already casualties before I went over the cliff.”

“Haven’t I made my point clear by now? I’m the bad one, the one who doesn’t care about anyone. I only saved you because Logan obviously cares for Excalibur. And Cerise would probably be upset too.”

She craned her head back to look him in the eye. “I bet you don’t even know my name.”

“Err, well … I know you came to that first meeting with Brian and Cerise. But I must confess I have forgotten what it is.”

“Hah, you never asked! Too distracted by Cerise’s cleavage? At least you know her name. I’m offended right now but that’s nothing compared to how I’d feel if you didn’t know your own girlfriend’s name.”

“Give me some credit. Anyway, could I have your name now?”

“No way! You’re the genius sorcerer, you can figure it out yourself!” Another break in the conversation.

“Well, now you’ve got one over Cerise. You’ve seen me naked before she has. So what do you think?” She tried to roll over again and this time he allowed it. “Handsome? Manly?”

“Old.”

“Old? Old!”

“Well, you’re as old as dirt, aren’t you?”

“Not quite that old and I’m sure I don’t look it!”

“I think it’s probably the hair and beard. Growing them out that long makes you look ancient. The fact that they’re completely white doesn’t help.”

A low growl came from the necromancer’s throat, but when she shivered he quickly gathered her close again so she could benefit from his body heat. “Alright, it’s pretty clear that your brain is fine if a bit deluded. If you want to go back to sleep you can.”

Kitty had been fighting a yawn through the last several minutes of the conversation. She let it go and drifted off almost instantly.

* * *

“Logan, Cerise, a pleasure to see you again.”

“You cut your hair?” Logan looked flabbergasted. Indeed, the necromancer’s hair had been cut to about shoulder length and pulled into a short tail. His beard had also been trimmed to a neat goatee. The pure white color still stood out against his indigo skin but the overall look was very different.

“I felt it was time for a change.”

Brian spoke up at that point. “Archmage Kurt-”

The necromancer held up a three-fingered hand. “Just a moment, please.” He walked over to Meggan (who immediately shifted to a 180 cm bearded warrior). “Meggan, who’s Brian’s fiancee.”

Then he came over to Rachel. “Rachel, Excalibur’s resident heavy hitter, telekinetic and pyromancer.”

Finally, he made it to where Doug and Kitty were standing. “Doug, called Cypher, awakening ability was automatic fluency in all languages.” Then he loomed over the last member of Excalibur. “Kitty Pryde, Excalibur’s ninja, and trap specialist, code name Sprite. Have I gotten any wrong?”

She smiled up at him. “No, but I would have been more impressed if you got everyone else’s last name too.”

To the surprise of everyone else he laughed. “There’s just no satisfying you, is there? At least tell me you noticed the change.”

She gave him a slow up and down look. “Alright fine. I concede the haircut and trim does make you look younger.”

“I’ll take that victory.” With that, he turned back to Logan and Brian. “Now that that’s over we can get down to business.”

Behind him, he heard Cypher ask Kitty, “What the hell did the two of you talk about that night?”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by that one Ultimate issue that I actually think they handled well.

_Takes place at least a couple of decades before ‘First Impressions’._

“It’s not like you to summon me in such pedestrian surroundings.”  Logan didn’t bother turning around.  If the shocked, frozen expression of the bartender didn’t tell him who had approached him, the mirror on the back wall did.  Nightcrawler cut a striking figure no matter where he went, even if most people had no idea who he was or how dangerous he could be.  Today he hadn’t done much to minimize the impact, dressed in bloody red robes, with two of his familiars with him.

“Just talkin’ today, elf.  No need to blow anything up.”  Logan turned to the bartender.  “Two steak dinners, six beers and a couple of whiskeys for the corner booth.”  He slid some coins over, enough to cover the order plus a generous tip, then beelined towards the table in question.  Bemused, Nightcrawler followed him.  A couple of peacocks from the local university also had their eye on the same spot, but one look at him and Nightcrawler had them backing off fast.

The older man did him the courtesy of waiting for their order to arrive before speaking.  But he only had enough time to open his mouth when Logan raised a hand.  “Privacy shield, if you would.”

The sorcerer’s eyes flashed and the booth was surrounded by an opaque, glowing forcefield.  Not really the best for keeping secrets, but enough that nothing they said would be heard (or seen for those who could read lips) for now.  “Is this business so important then?  You would have been better served coming to me in person instead.”

“Nah, this ain’t business.  I just needed to talk to someone and you were the only one I could think of.”

Surprised Nightcrawler settled back and took a sip of beer.  But after a second he leaned forward again.  “It’s been quite some time since I’ve been anyone’s confidant.  But if you feel you have no one else, I’m listening.”

It took half the meal and two beers before Logan started talking.  “Got another target the other day.  A guy who had just awakened.”

“That’s not like the Lensherr family.  The rulers of this country encourage magic, not suppress it.”

“Yeah, well, as it turned out the guy that awakened?  His power was to create toxic fumes that dissolved living organic material.  Got at least half the village before he even woke up that day, and the other half wandering around trying to see what the problem was.”

“So they sent you to stop him.”  Nightcrawler took another sip of beer while nudging both whiskeys towards the assassin.  “A little too late apparently.  Not at all like the current Royal Oracle.”

“Even she can’t see everything.  There was a storm and an avalanche washed out my path to the village.  By the time I got there, everyone was dead except the kid.”

“A kid?  How old was the awakened mage?”

“Sixteen, maybe seventeen?  When I found him, he was holed up in this cave under a hill.  Everything on that hill was dead except for him.”

“What did you do then?”

“We talked for a while.  I’d picked up some beer from the empty pub and brought it with me for him.  Then I did what I had to do.”  Logan was all but flat on the table.

“A pity that.  Was there no way to control his power?”

A gruff shake of the head.  “Maybe if there’d been more time … but I could see his range growing as I climbed that hill.”  Logan abruptly straightened up and slammed his hands on the table.  “Dammit, why don’t we have any way to block a mage’s power?  There are cells in the capital to hold them, but nothing like a pair of handcuffs or a portable ward.”

“Some sorcerer’s have the ability to suppress lower-level mages.  Not sure it would have helped in this case and given the young man’s ability, you probably wouldn’t have gotten any volunteers.”

“Could you have done it?”

“Almost certainly.  I’d get you there faster as well.  And I’m hardly worried about dying either.  But you didn’t ask.”

Logan said nothing.  He hadn’t asked, because he hadn’t been sure he could afford it.  Unfortunately, it hadn’t been him who had paid the price.

“Logan?  You said you talked for a while.  What was he like?”

“Hmf.  Confused, scared, oblivious.  Didn’t know what was happening, had to have it spelled out for him.  Horrified when he realized he had killed everyone he knew.  Normal, I guess.”  The brief burst of agitation was fading, leaving depression in its wake.  “He was so young.”

“Did he tell you about his dreams for the future?”

“Yeah.  Wanted to do that with his girlfriend.  Wanted to see a big city at least once, maybe even the capital.  Had a real fondness for those mechanical carriages that are becoming popular.  Said he had always wanted to be a hero and save people, like me.  Hah, I was there to kill him and he said he wanted to be like me!”  Logan drained one of the whiskeys.

Silence descended while they finished their meal and the alcohol.  Finally, the necromancer started the conversation again.  “If you want someone to tell you that you did the right thing, then yes you did.  You didn’t arrive in time to save the village, and nothing was going to save that boy given what his awakening was.  But you stopped him from killing more people and from the sound of it, he would be thankful to you for that.”

“It’s not enough.”

“What do you want me to do, Logan?  From the sound of it, bringing him back from the dead would only restart the problem.  And I’m not into killing people for no reason.”

“You told me you were a priest once.  Absolve me.”

“Not that kind of religion, not that kind of priest.”  Yellow eyes narrowed while dark lips turned down.  Finally, he sighed.  “Logan, I could bless you until you’ve died of old age and you still wouldn’t feel absolved.  You don’t want absolution, you want penance.”

“Maybe.”

“Fine.  So here’s your punishment.  You killed the boy but before he died, he passed his dreams on to you.  So now it’s your responsibility to see those dreams come true.  He wanted to be a hero.  In this country, tens, if not hundreds of mages go untrained because there’s no system to locate and train them.  You want absolution?  Come up with a system to find these mages and to get them the training they need to at least control their powers without harming themselves and others.  Create something so people with dangerous abilities can be safely transported and cared for without having to worry about losing control.”

Logan actually perked up, and it probably wasn’t the second buzz from the alcohol.  But then he deflated.  “That sounds like a great idea, but I wouldn’t know where to begin.”

Nightcrawler sighed and grabbed a napkin.  He conjured up a pen and started writing something down.  “Here’s the address of one of the greatest users of mind magic in the capital.  He was considered for the position of King’s psychic but ultimately came in second.  He wants to establish a school for those who awaken mage abilities but doesn’t know enough people with training to be teachers.  Go talk to him after you recover from your hangover.”

Logan actually seemed to consider the idea.  “He didn’t ask you?”

“He did … and then retracted the offer after he found out a bit more of my history.”  The rueful smile was offset by the sharp fangs it exposed.  “Quite unfair in my opinion.  I’ve taken many apprentices over the centuries and they all learned a lot from me.”

“You countin’ Xian, Proteus and whatever that other guy’s name was?”

“I stand by my statement that they all learned a lot from me.”


	4. The Two Apple Trees

“Hey, what are these two apple trees doing here?”  Excalibur had tracked down necromancer Kurt again to deal with a sort of mystical plague.  Brian had hoped to get some help for free, but as the plague wasn’t actually killing anyone, he had refused.  He did offer a discount on top of the one they were already receiving so it didn’t sting quite as much as it usually did.

“Hmm?”  Kurt looked up from the book he was reading.  He thought he recognized the symptoms they had described but was double-checking just to be sure.  “Do I even know you?”

“Cerise would be absent today,” muttered Kitty.  “Kurt, this is Bobby Drake, aka Iceman.  He’s part of the larger guild of the X-Men.  Bobby, this is Kurt the Necromancer.  He’s an old mercenary friend of Logan’s and occasionally helps out Excalibur, for a fee.”

The ice elementalist peered at the blue-furred man.  “Huh, I’m surprised we’d never heard of you before.”

“Your Professor Xavier took issue with a bit of ancient history on my part.  He actively discourages his guild members from seeking me out.”  He closed the book he was reading and tossed it over his shoulder.  One of his familiars, which looked like tiny, nude duplicates of himself, caught it and teleported away in a cloud of ill-smelling smoke.  A second later, it returned with a different book that Kurt started reading.

“Ahem, are you just ignoring me?”

Yellow eyes looked up.  “I’m sorry, what was the question?”

“What’s the deal with the two apple trees?  And why are they so weird?  One of them has white fruit and the other has silver.  Or wait, is this answer going to cost me anything?”

“Not at all,” the older man answered absently.  “As a matter of fact, they happen to be the payment I received for warding a farmer’s property from the local pests.  He didn’t have enough cash for me, but the farm was on the juncture of a couple of leylines.  I simply appropriated some of the more esoteric produce he had.  I think he might have been relieved to get rid of them.”

“By the way, I don’t recommend eating-”  

The comment came way too late because Bobby had plucked a white apple from one of the trees and taken a bite.  He masticated it a few times before spitting it out.  “Eugh!  That tastes terrible!”

“Bobby you idiot!”  Kitty raged.

“What the hell happened to these apples?  That was like swallowing a mouthful of wet cotton!”

“Nothing,” Kurt sighed.  “That tree wasn’t the cursed one.”  He narrowed yellow eyes at the X-Man.  “Perhaps the extraneous one should leave before he gets into even more trouble?”

“But-”

“Bobby, do you really want to find out what a cursed apple tastes like?”

“Yeah, yeah, I know when I’m not wanted.”  Kitty escorted Iceman out.

When she came back in, she had a frown on her face.  “Will he really be alright?”

“He’ll be fine.  The apples aren’t cursed, they’re just an unusual cultivar that who’s fruits develop extremely early.  The farmer called them bone and glass apples for their white skin and translucent flesh.  They don’t have a lot of flavor, but they’re useful for certain rituals.”

Kitty picked up the leftover apple with a bite in it.  “Ugh, it’s bruising already.  Weird maroon shade, almost like human skin.”

“Not necessarily nice rituals.  Toss that in the composter.”  Sprite followed suit.

“What about the other tree?”

“Now that one  _is_  cursed.”  Kurt set down his book and took out a knife which he used to cut one of the silver apples down.  The stem was thicker and tougher than the other.  He carefully peeled off some of the silvery skin.

Kitty frowned.  She thought she smelled blood in the air; had the blue-furred man cut himself?  Then one misshapen hand held the apple out to her and she realized the smell was coming from the apple itself.  The flesh beneath the skin was dark red, almost like muscle tissue.  And was it twitching?

“Honestly my first thought was to convert the flesh into a little homunculus.  But I’m sure I could come up with many other uses for it as well.”  The older man stabbed the apple with the knife.  It did indeed start twitching violently and Kitty would swear she heard a faint scream.  The necromancer carved off a bit of flesh and ate it.  He then skewered a second piece and held it out to her.  “I believe you once told me that apples are your favorite fruit.”

Kitty backed away.  “Not anymore they’re not!”

* * *

_The white apple tree is inspired by the ghost apple tree from[@lazyevaluationranch](https://tmblr.co/mdnH1XjW1dOLCh4RXP5aPOg)_

_The silver apple tree by a scene from[@unsoundedupdates](https://tmblr.co/mGjQYmB3bYCO9oVnPkaAEzQ)_


	5. The Wizard's Hairy Heart

“Why is it,” Kitty asked.  “Whenever I meet up with you I always see something terrible and disturbing?  The silver apple tree, the eyeball vines, those elm trees with the eyes in their bark.”

“Cerise will be out as soon as she’s bathed and dressed.  Since you said you weren’t in a hurry … “ Kurt leaned against the lintel, robe almost falling open because he hadn’t bothered to tie it shut.  “I don’t recall anything particularly disturbing to be seen at our first meeting.”

She smiled, looking at him from the corner of her eye.  “I met you.  That was disturbing enough.”

“I suppose I do count as one of the most terrible things you’ll ever meet.  But what about our second meeting?  I saved your life!”

“I did see something terrible and disgusting then, although admittedly it was Selene’s fault that time.”

Kurt finally tidied himself up, running his hand through his white hair.  “What’s brought this up?”

Kitty held out the jar she’d been looking at.  “What is this thing?  I thought it was some weird moldy potato that you’d preserved for some reason, but it’s beating.”

He carefully cradled the glass she’d handed him.  “Ah, this is the heart of one of my apprentices.  He used magic to remove it from his breast.  In return, he was able to strip himself off most softer emotions that he considered weaknesses.”

The younger girl looked a little sick.  “You mean we might have to face down more of your apprentices?”

He tilted his head.  “Surely you didn’t think Xian, Proteus, and Jarvis were my only apprentices?”

“Of course not.  But we did assume that most of them were dead by now.”

“Most but not all.”  He tapped on the glass, amused to watch the heart skip a beat.  “Not all my apprentices have become world-wide threats.  This one is content to have his neighbors envy rather than ruling a nation or becoming a god.”  He put the jar back on the shelf, carefully fitting it in its holder.

“And he just gave you his heart to keep it safe?”

“Hmmm, he doesn’t know I have it.  It was easy to take it from it’s hiding place.  Besides, you never know when a little blackmail might come in handy.”

At that point, Cerise came out of the bedroom.  One last kiss, then she and Kitty were on to their next assignment.


	6. Outland Clown Syndrome

 

“Kurt, Cerise, I’m sorry to bother both of you but an emergency has come up.” Kitty barged straight into his bedroom, bypassing the lock on the door easily. “You’ll both need to get dressed for combat.”

The two of them tumbled out of bed. A quick game of rock-paper-scissors and Cerise claimed the bath first. “Wait, why both of us?” asked Kurt.

“This isn’t an order from Professor X, it’s coming from King Erik Lensherr himself. Ships from the Shi’ar Empire have been spotted off the close. We don’t have exact numbers but the count when I was sent over was already over fifty.”

Kurt nodded. “An invasion then.”

“Exactly. King Magneto’s mobilized the army and activated the conscription clause for all magic users of journeyman level or above. As a Guild member, Cerise is obligated to assist.” Hazel eyes peered at him through a purple mask. “I suppose since your not actually a citizen of this country, you don’t have to participate.”

“Nonsense, I’ll simply join Excalibur for the battle and no one will be the wiser. I  _like_ Genosha, and I’m hardly going to object to defending the nation. Besides, if the Shi’ar take over, Cerise will be executed and that would definitely put a crimp in my near future plans.”

Kitty sighed in relief. Technically King Lensherr could conscript all the magic users in the nation, never mind where they had come from, but she hadn’t relished the thought of forcing the necromancer if he had resisted. She wasn’t cognizant to all his abilities, but what she had seen meant that she was seriously outclassed. “I’ll wait outside for you then?”

“You saw me naked the second time we met and you probably can’t see in the dark anyway, so it’s not like I care.”

He hunted up a comfortable leotard that he used for acrobatics. Kitty, for lack of better things to do, tried to collect all of Cerise’s clothes. After the fifth time she bumped into the furniture, he took pity on her and conjured up a small light. “What on earth are you wearing?”

“My combat uniform, of course.” She looked puzzled at his confusion. “Oh right, you’ve never seen this before.” True, every time they had met before this, she had been in civilian clothes. Even against Selene, that had been a surprise attack. She had a flamboyant purple mask, boots with wheels, striped leg warmers and red gloves and vest all over a bronze chainmail body suit. It looked hideous.

“Did you just grab everything in the dark or can you not afford better?”

“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”

“Are you colorblind? Is that what the problem is?”

Offended she began pointing out the advantages of the various pieces of the outfit. “The chainmail protects me against weapons while still allowing me to move. The boots, legwarmers, and shorts all boost my speed and agility, to compensate for the mail. The belt and the vest increase my strength and stamina, especially useful in hand-to-hand combat. The gloves are enchanted to increase the effectiveness of my spellcraft. And the mask protects me from mind attacks.”

“When this invasion is over, I’m going to get you some  _real_ armor and custom enchant it just so that no one ever associates me with that eye-sore.” Then Cerise came out to search for her clothes and that ended the conversation.

* * *

Fending off the Shi’ar Empire was incredibly difficult. Emperor D’ken had vast resources at his beck and call and was quite willing to throw all of them at Genosha. Perhaps their only saving grace was that the Empire was so restrictive, its technology level was lower than Genosha’s, not to mention they banned magic use entirely. That allowed the smaller nation to punch well above its weight and meant that every meter of ground the Empire gained came at a far greater price. Still, it probably would have ended in Genosha’s defeat, if not for the addition of Nightcrawler.

“Remind me to never seriously anger this guy,” said Brian.

There were some major issues but Kurt’s two main contributions were: first, flying summons who could carry explosives to burn the ships, and second, resurrecting the enemy dead to turn them against their former compatriots. The second was probably the turning point, it was one thing to have to face down your fellow soldier after seeing him die, it was another when he was three times faster than you, unstoppable, and capable of ripping apart ships with his bare hands.

Despite the lack of warning, Genosha was quickly able to turn the tide and reclaim the lost territory. Emperor D’Ken was eventually run down and captured outside the first city the Shi’ar had claimed. After his battlefield death, his exiled sister Lilandra revealed herself and claimed the throne, ordering the army and navy to depart back to Shi’ar at once.

Kitty wondered what had changed Kurt’s mind. At the beginning of the war, the blue man had simply accompanied Excalibur on their evacuation missions, doing the bare minimum needed for their success. Sometimes he ended doing nothing at all if the rest of them could handle a problem. But the last mission they had emptied the city just before a Shi’ar death squad had arrived. They had killed the squad and saved their charges, but not without everyone other than Kurt and Cerise being badly injured. Excalibur had sat out most of the(admittedly very short) war in an infirmary.

* * *

“Uh, you don’t actually have to do this, Kurt. My armor might not be the best, but it’s adequate and optimized for my fighting style. Besides, I really can’t afford any better.”

“Then it’s fortunate you’re not the one paying for this trip, I am.” Kurt had teleported them both to a large city in the mountains. The capital might have better armorers but not until rebuilding was complete. “Consider it this way. My lover’s abandoned me to go back to her homeland and help Empress Lilandra remove her brother’s cronies and deal with the corruption. I need something to take my mind off the fact she isn’t coming back.”

“Funny, you don’t look all that heartbroken. You certainly seemed cheerful enough last night with all the drinking and flirting and dying Logan’s hair bright yellow.”

“Eh, it will wear off in a week.” He pushed open the door, and for once, wasn’t the center of attention. He could see the shopkeeper categorizing Kitty’s outfit and coming to the same conclusion anyone with working eyes would come to. “All we ever really did together was have sex. I think I’ve spent more time talking with you during missions. I can live without the sex.”

He pushed her in front of the armorer. “Go ahead and get your measurements taken.”

When she came out again, he was examining the different styles of armor. “Sprite, I’ve got a question for you. Why do you need armor in the first place? Wasn’t your awakening power intangibility?”

“Yeah, but it’s not an automatic thing. I can still be surprised. Besides, there will be times I need to stay baseline for whatever reason, like shielding someone else from an attack.”

“You need more options. Maybe I’ll teach you some combat magic, now that I’ve got some free time. Anyway, pick any style you like. I’ll enchant it for you for free.”

She looked wary. “I’m not having sex with you.”

“ _Liebling_ , I like you and not just because you have an hourglass figure. I’m doing this as  _diene freunde_ , not as a client.”

“Okay then.” The shop was divided into sections. Rather than by material or weight, they could choose work done by different smiths and leatherworkers, ranging from apprentices to the various masters.

“This looks nice.” Kurt pulled out a leather bodysuit, similar in style to her chain mail.

Kitty took one look and cringed. “No thanks! That looks like a giant arrow pointing to my crotch.”

“It’s similar to the leotard I use.”

“Well, unlike you, I’m not  _advertising.”_

A few minutes later, he held up another one, a black fishnet body stocking. “I occasionally use something like this when I’m infiltrating places. Mesh and magic work well together.”

Hazel eyes glared at him. “Are you kidding? I don’t have fur, I’d be freezing in that outfit!”

“I could enchant it with a spell that will keep you comfortable. Maybe some invisibility. Extra perception-”

“No thanks!”

“Suit yourself.”

 _“_ Hey, you said the price wasn’t a consideration, right?” He turned to look at her. She held up a white bodysuit, apparently made out of woven diamond fabric. “I was thinking this, topped with-” She reached over and plucked a red leather cloak from a rack. “this coat and maybe one of those masks.” There were a set of decorative ones on the wall. She gestured to the plainest one, with no features except large eye holes. “I thought you could give the new mask the same anti-psychic features my old one has.”

He tried picturing it. “Don’t you think you’d look kind of scary? I mean it works for me, but Excalibur seems to be promoting a more family-friendly image than that. And won’t the mask and hood obstruct your line of vision?”

“I’ve used that purple butterfly thing all this time, I think I can handle it. Although,” she looked it over. “I suppose it would be hard to drink anything with this.”

“I like the idea of woven diamond fabric, although I don’t think white is your color. Maybe pink?”

She made a face. “I like pink as an accent, but I don’t think I could stand that much all at once. What do you think of blue?”

“I’m flattered.” She looked puzzled but then awareness dawned.

“You jerk! That’s not what I meant! Besides blue diamond would be a lot lighter than your fur color!” He just laughed at her.

She eventually settled for a woven diamond bodysuit with light blue limbs and a black torso, topped with darker blue boots, gloves, poet shirt and mask. Kurt offered some preliminary enchantments such as speed and agility on the boots, temperature control and Sleeves of Holding (Kitty complained the outfit had no pockets) on the shirt, and the anti-psychic shielding on the mask. He did say if she wanted to change it in the future, she’d have to pay him.

“There! Now I’m no longer embarrassed to go out fighting with you.” He gave her a wide grin that caused several people to cross the street to get away from them.

“Fine, I’ll admit this outfit does look better than my old one while being just a good. But what’s going to save me from the embarrassment of being seen in public with you, Flirtzilla?”


	7. The Robin and the Kestrel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plot ripped from the book of the same name. Go read Mercedes Lackey, everyone!

“Fuck.” Rahne flinched but the rest of Excalibur agreed with Logan’s sentiment. Their current mission came from the Crown itself. There had been a retired combat mage commander in Gradford who had abruptly stopped communicating with all her friends and relatives. Everyone thought she had died (she had been over a hundred) but after one of her nephews and then another of her mentees had also vanished after going to Gradford, her successor had ordered an investigation of the town.

Even before Excalibur had been sent out, things had looked worrisome. Gradford was at the very edge of Genosha, closer to the neighboring country of Silla than it was to the capital, cut off from the rest of Genosha by a difficult mountain range. But over the past five years, Gradford had turned into a black hole. Official communications had been cut down to yearly reports from the Viceroy Graydon Creed. Unofficially people had been going into to Gradford … and not returning. It had only been overlooked because not a lot of people had a reason to go into Gradford in the first place and the mountains were so dangerous that a single traveler becoming lost on the road was to be expected. It’s only when they started data-mining the statistics that the capital realized there was a problem here. Excalibur had been sent to investigate.

On the way to the city, they had speculated what might have happened. Doug thought plague (although why hadn’t Creed reported it?) Kitty guessed invasion by Silla (and no one had escaped before?) Logan went for bad luck and plain negligence (that was what everyone was hoping for.) Rebellious, religious, anti-magic cult had not been brought up by anyone.

“So what do we do now?” asked Meggan. “This is way too big to deal with by ourselves. Should we report back in?”

“Only if we want to kill everyone in the city,” muttered Logan. “The Lensherr’s take anti-magic prejudice very seriously. The last time something like this happened, they had the entire population turned into trees. And that town was a lot smaller than this and wasn’t assembling an army to attack. If we go back and tell Adler about this the next thing that’s going to happen will be King Erik dropping a meteor on Gradford.”

“Meggan’s right though,” said Brian. “We could probably take out the leaders and do a lot of damage but eventually either we’ll be caught or they’ll just keep going through our sabotage until they’re ready to take on the kingdom. These ‘Friends of Humanity’ are an entire institution and bureaucracy now. At least if we go for help now, the army will have a chance of stopping them before their plans are complete.”

It was Doug’s turn to contribute. “What we really need to do is stall them enough so that they can’t start attacking while we get help and get a something to give Magneto so that he won’t take out the entire city while going after the Friends of Humanity.”

“Maybe if we discredit the leaders in addition to all the physical damage we have planned?” mused Kitty. “If we get the populace to turn over the ringleaders, that might convince Erik to be more merciful. But how do we do that?”

Everyone thought for a while. Finally, Logan took charge again. “Alright, we’re going to split up. Cypher, Gloriana, Phoenix and Shadowcat, I’m gonna give you one more day to find anything that can be used against Graydon Creed. Everyone else, we’re gonna start the prep to destroy as much as we can and cause as much confusion as we can. Don’t do anything that’ll be discovered too quickly or needs to be on a timer, just in case Team Infiltrator actually does find something and we need to adjust. Everybody understand?” He received nods from everyone in return. “Then you’re all dismissed.”

* * *

“Psst, Kitty!” Rachel hissed at the empty wall near the Church. “Any luck?”

“Not really. Although I’ve found some of the missing mages. They’ve got inhibitor collars on and the Church is making them design arrays for them. They’ve got a fascinating array for to compel truth-speaking in the Temple. It’s going to be unveiled in three days before the public.”

“Compelling people to speak the truth? That actually may work well with what I discovered.” Kitty slid out of the wall and raised one eyebrow at her friend. “Graydon, the Viceroy-”

“Not after we make our report, he’s not going to be.”

“As it turns out he’s the son of that necromancer that we’re always having to call for help. Kurt or Nightcrawler or whatever his name is. Is there anything that would go further against the principles of the Friends of Humanity than being the son of a villainous magic-user? Graydon’s in complete fear that someone will expose him one day.”

“That’s great but how will that help us? We have to get him onto the array and then question him about his family in front of witnesses. All he has to do is step away from the altar.”

“Well they were going to reveal it to the public, right? We show up during the ceremony after they’ve established its reputation. That takes care of needing witnesses and getting him to stay in place. If he moves away or refuses to answer, he’ll lose credibility.”

“He might also just call for the guards to execute us. Or the crowd wouldn’t believe us.”

“I don’t think anyone in Excalibur’s worried about the guards.” Kitty conceded her point. “As for the crowd … they’re too many for me to control, but I can ‘incline’ them to believe us and then ‘tilt’ them towards outrage after the confession. I’m powerful enough for that.”

“Okay but that still leaves several problems. What do we do, just ask him if his father’s the dread Necromancer whatever-his-name-is? The array won’t let him lie knowingly or be quiet but if we use the wrong name it won’t work.”

Rachel and Kitty thought about it for a while. Then the redhead stirred. “The name may not matter. Graydon knows what his father looks like. And while he may keep his head on being questioned, I bet he’d probably lose his cool on being confronted by the real thing.”

“You think we should get Kurt to confront him during the unveiling ceremony?”

“Yeah, that would be a great idea! Distraction, disgrace and another fighter if things go badly.”

“How the heck are we going to get him here? And convince him to help us this time? Do you have any idea how much this is going to cost us? Cerise isn’t here anymore!”

“No, but I’ll bet he’ll give us a discount for you. And I’m pretty sure you have a way of contacting him and getting him here fast.”

A moment passed. Then Kitty took out a small crystal slate. “I do. But we clear this plan with Logan and Brian first.”

* * *

Kitty was as tense as a bowstring. With the lack of other options, Brian and Logan had agreed to enact Rachel’s plan. It hadn’t helped that they had found the apprentice from earlier. Warren was in bad shape but could still come out of this whole, assuming they could rescue him before he got sacrificed during the unveiling ceremony.

The team had divided up again. Kitty, Rachel, Logan, and Brian were inside the temple, to control the confrontation. Everyone else was outside, ready to set off the distractions. Kurt should also be in the temple but he had shapeshifted to avoid notice so she couldn’t see him.

They’d had to prioritize. Getting Warren and the other prisoners to safety came first. Then exposing Graydon. Finally was getting the crowd to lock up the Friends of Humanity and re-establishing contact with the capital. Hopefully, by offering up the ringleaders, that would spare the city from being wiped off the map. But as Logan had pointed out, the assignment had suffered a severe case of mission creep. If it came down to it, they were to get Warren and themselves out and hang the city.

Graydon had just finished the last of his demonstrations and offered to allow members of the community to try. After the first few, Kitty started looking around worriedly. Where was Kurt? Had he bailed on them?

Finally just before it was over, a young man with black hair and blue eyes came up. “Might I try,  _meine Herr?”_

 _“_ Of course, stranger. See the proof of our God’s power and join the congregation!” The man stepped forward, stopping just before the seal. “Hmm,  _gut, gut_. Very nice. You don’t mind a little test, do you? Of course not!” The stranger spoke straight over Graydon’s stuttering ‘no’. “What’s your name?”

“Graydon Creed.”

“Your age?”

“Forty.”

“Place of birth?”

“Edmonton in Laurentia.”

“Mother’s name?” Now Creed looked uneasy and tried to back away. Logan slipped in behind him (where had he found that guard uniform?) and stopped him from stepping away from the altar. “Amanda Creed.”

“Father’s name?”

“I’m afraid I don’t know. If you’re newly arrived then you wouldn’t know, but I’m a bastard. My mother never knew who-” He choked, stopped from actively lying by the seal on the floor. “My mother never knew my father’s name. I made my way to becoming Viceroy on my own merits.” Kitty thought it funny that he didn’t choke on that bit.

“Oh really? You don’t know his name but you do know who he is. Why don’t you tell them about your dear father, Creed? Why don’t you tell them-” The man stepped upon the seal and the illusion shredded away, leaving Kurt in all his blue furry glory. “Why don’t you tell them about me?”

The crowd screamed and the ones at the back tried to get away. Excalibur let them go, they didn’t have enough people to secure the entire building. “NO! NO! GET AWAY FROM ME!” Creed pulled a pistol out from his robes and shot Nightcrawler. The necromancer simply teleported closer. “Go on. Deny me if you can.”

Creed shouted at the guards. “What are you looking at? I hate him! I’m not like him! I’m normal!” He kept firing at the teleporter who was unphased by the bullets. (Logan, on the other hand, had quickly run to act as a backstop for Creed.) “YOU ARE NOT-” He stopped and choked again.

“Brian,” Kitty yelled towards her captain. “This is getting out of hand. Stop them! They’ll listen to you! You’re a man!”

“STOP!” At the same time, Rachel pressed down hard on the crowd mentally, getting them to stop panicking and listen. Brian started speaking quickly, identifying themselves as members of Excalibur and explaining how they’d been sent by the Crown to investigate the recent disasters and disappearances. He told them of the prisoners under the Church, who had been forced to create Graydon’s ‘miracles’. How the recent deaths of their defenders could be laid at the feet of the Friends of Humanity.

For something they were all improvising on the fly, it was remarkably good. Behind Brian, Kurt grabbed his son then teleported into the cage with Warren. He then bamfed out with the apprentice, leaving Graydon Creed in the cage. Meanwhile, one of the guards had lost his nerve and tried to run. It attracted the attention of the crowd and they quickly caught all the members and locked them into the stocks. Others broke off to investigate the previously forbidden rooms and basements of the Church, others went to hunt down other members of the Friends of Humanity.

Logan sidled over to Kitty. “You grabbed all the important documents earlier, right?”

“I did. Although someone had better keep watch on that cage. I’m not sure the other high-rankers are going to survive the night.”

Logan groaned. “We’re going to have to stay here then. Everything’s in complete chaos and we don’t know who’s trustworthy enough to put in charge.”

Kitty nodded. “Rachel?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you still controlling the crowd?”

“No, they broke free in the middle of Brian’s speech.”

“Then start calling for help now.”

* * *

_A few weeks later._

_“_ I didn’t expect Excalibur to still be here.” Kitty looked up. A man stood there, middle-aged, with strawberry blond hair (almost pink), blue eyes and a square jaw. “I’m sorry, do I know you?”

“Oh, I bet you do.” The man winked, his eyes changing to featureless gold.

“Kurt!” She quickly dropped the volume on her voice when she realized she had attracted the attention of the guards. “I hadn’t expected to see you so soon.”

“I thought Excalibur would be back in the capital within a week. Did your mission get extended?”

“Our getaway plan went to Hell, so we got stuck here holding the fort down while waiting for the new Viceroy and an army division to arrive. Prince Pietro has been here for a couple of weeks now, so assuming nothing else goes wrong, we’ll be heading back next month.”

“That’s an awfully big assumption on your parts.”

“Not all our missions go bad. If we’re contacting you it means the mission already went to Hell and is probably unsalvageable.”

“I’m not sure I like being told I’m your last resort,” he said dryly. “What happened to Graydon and the other leaders of ‘Friends of Humanity’?”

“We managed to account for half of them, either locked up or ripped apart by the mob with enough body parts left intact to identify them. The other half managed to reach their escape routes or getaway boats or magical exits. For a bunch of anti-magic people, a lot of them apparently had no qualms against forcing others to use magic for their benefit. Hypocrites.”

“Did that include Creed?”

“No, aside from the array, he pretty much walked the talk. Compared to some of the others, that was almost admirable.”

“What’ll happen to him?”

Kitty grimaced. “I’m afraid Pietro’s sentenced him to execution. You have a couple more days if you were planning to break him out.”

He dismissed the possibility with a wave of his hand. “I would never have even known he existed if Excalibur hadn’t told me about him. And he’s a grown man, capable of making his own decisions. Had he still been a child, I would have been willing to rescue him from his own stupidity but not now.”

“That’s kind of cold.”

“I don’t automatically know if I have sired children or not. I don’t run down all my one-night stands to make certain of these things either. If the mother doesn’t bring the child to my attention I do not hold myself responsible once that child is an adult.”

Kitty didn’t really like that statement but it wasn’t the worst thing she’d heard from deadbeat fathers. Or neglectful mothers either. Not that she could really do anything about his behavior. Apparently, he thought the subject was closed because he moved on. “What are you doing?”

“I’m sketching out the truth-speaker array they’ve got here. It’s pretty advanced. Not only does it prevent active lying but it prevents the questionee from simply keeping his mouth shut. He or she has to answer when given a direct question.”

“That is pretty impressive. It must take a lot of power.”

“Yes, but anyone can activate it. We wouldn’t have to rely on telepaths so much for interrogation. You’re right about the power requirements though. Only in a place like Gradford, where multiple lay lines meet, could they make the seal a permanent fixture in a structure. Pietro’s impressed, he’s thinking of making the church into the new judiciary hall. Still, if we can make something portable, even if it burns out after one use, that would be quite the break-through.”

“Hmm, seal-work’s not exactly my specialty but I have been around longer than pretty much anyone-”

“That’s because you’re older than dirt-ow!”

He bopped her lightly on the head. “Manners,  _kinder_. Pass me some of your notes to look at while you finish that sketch.”


	8. The Talk

“Kitty, some people are here to see you.” Doug poked his head in the open door.

“Really? I wasn’t expecting anyone today.” Kitty ducked behind a screen so she could change out of her pajamas into something a little more appropriate.

“It’s Nocturne and Salamander from the X-Men.”

“What?” She looked up dismayed. Excalibur had a couple of theories about those two and a possible connection to the Necromancer but that had been idle speculation. The two had been part of the first generation of X-Men and unlikely to have anything to do with such a rookie group. The fact they’d come to see her and after the whole deal with Gradford . . . Kitty switched from the dungarees and loose poet shirt to a formal green dress.

“So, um how can I help you, your Highness?” Kitty made a wobbly curtsy to the Princess and her companion.

“Talia is just fine, Ms. Pryde. May I call you Kitty?” Salamander came over and held out a chair for her to sit in.

“Uh, sure that’s fine.”

“We only just heard about Gradford-”

“We were on a mission and only got back this week.” Salamander’s voice was lower and rougher than Kitty expected.

“-and we wanted to clear up any misconceptions you had about our father.”

“Oh, so you’re really … “

Talia nodded. “Does he not talk about us a lot? We’ve both heard a lot about Excalibur. Dad really seems to like you guys.”

“Oh, er, well he’s mentioned you, but none of us ever expected to meet. Excalibur’s a rookie team, after all.”

“Don’t sell yourselves short.” Salamander sat down to join the two women. “Excalibur’s had an excellent track record so far with its missions and a lot of those would have given experienced teams a run for their money. I’m sure you’ll do great things in the future.”

“Thanks, I guess.”

“But Kitty, we arrived here specifically to speak to you. After what happened at Gradford, we felt it might be good to clear up any doubts you have.”

“Wait, why me specifically? Shouldn’t you be addressing Excalibur as a whole here?”

“Well, you are dating our father-”

“WHAT! Wait, wait, wait! No, I’m not! Who told you that lie?”

“Well, Dad did mention he was dating someone from Excalibur. And he talks about you a lot.” Salamander was nonplussed.

“Kurt was dating  _Cerise,_ not me. Look I’m afraid you’ve gotten the wrong idea.”

“Are you sure? I met Cerise during Empress Lilandra’s departure back to Shi’ar. Dad’s never even mentioned her to us.”

“Was Cerise one of his ‘just-sex’ friends?” asked Salamander bluntly. “Because I don’t think anyone counts those as being real relationships. They’re more like one-night stands that reoccur over months.”

“Kurt did say they didn’t actually date, just have sex whenever they got together. But I don’t know how that translates to the idea that Kurt and I are dating.”

“Didn’t he take you shopping for a new combat outfit? And work with you on making a new portable, disposable truth-seeker seal? For dad, that means either your dating or your his apprentice. So which is it?” Talia had a guileless look in her wide eyes but Kitty wasn’t buying it.

“Can’t we just be friends?”

“Sure you can,” soothed Salamander. “But Dad dropped a fortune on Excalibur in discounts and that armor. Not to mention destroying the Shi’ar army and navy after you guys got hurt. He might hang around and give you a discount if your friends but going out of his way to help that much usually means a bit more than just friendship.”

Kitty filed that information away to deal with later. “What did the two of you specifically come to talk about?”

“Well, Damien and I-”

“Wait!” Kitty pointed at the older man. “You’re name’s Damien?”

“Yeah, dad picked it out. Is there a problem?”

“Never mind. Go on.”

Talia restarted her speech. “We heard about what happened with Graydon Creed. We want to explain that dad isn’t just some deadbeat lecher who abandons his kids.”

“Oookaaay?”

“Alright, so he is a lecher and a pervert. But when he knows about his kids, he does try to support them. When he and my mom broke up, he still made it a point to write to me every month, always remembered important events in my life, and I got to spend three months of every year just traveling with him. He’s always been there for me when I really needed him.”

“And my mother,” Damien took up the conversation at this point. “She was one of his one-night stands. She tracked him down and pretty much dumped me on his doorstep. He’s the one who raised me-”

“And without any expectations of you following in his footsteps! Summer was always fun because it meant getting away from the pressure of being a Princess and actually having someone listen to my thoughts!”

“Exactly. He was very supportive of my goals even though he knew there would be times we would be in direct conflict.”

“So you’ve fought each other?”

“Rarely, but it has happened. He’s usually pretty laid-back about it since he rarely does any grand scheming himself anymore. Mostly he assists other villains with their plots. He’ll imprison us or knock us out but he won’t kill us.”

“But he doesn’t care about normal people?”

Damien and Talia exchanged looks. “Well, he’s been around for so long, he has a hard time relating to people. Mostly sees them as pawns or sheep. But given that probably no one could stop him if he did have a goal, the Lensherr family is willing to overlook him as long as he’s not doing too much damage. No point in waking a sleeping giant after all.”

Kitty thought about her own evaluation of Kurt’s power and what she’d seen him do. Talia was probably right. Better Kurt be indifferent than actively hostile.

“But what about with Graydon? Graydon’s his son and he had no problems with catching him and letting him be executed.”

“Our father is talented at entirely too many things but he does have his weaknesses. One of them is that like many men, he’s not going to automatically know he’s fathered a child. If he’s not in a long-term relationship with the mother and she doesn’t bother to let him know about the kid … “

“You’d think he’d be more careful,” said Kitty dryly, unimpressed.

“Worse come to worst they could always approach me. There’s a standing order at the capital that any half-siblings that show up can depend on the Crown to at least support them until adulthood and to find them their first job.”

“King Erik is wary of any bastards wandering around,” explained Damien. “He’s afraid someone might be born with Dad’s abilities and be turned against the state. Although, I’m not sure the rule was in place when Creed was born. I remember an Amanda Creed from when I was living with him. Terrible woman, she probably just abandoned Graydon if he didn’t develop the immense magic powers she was expecting.

He’s got this weird cut-off age thing. I mean he’s fine dealing with Talia and I now that we’re adults, and from what some of the apprentices say, he’ll gladly take in any of his kids. But only if they’re kids. After a certain point, they’re no longer kids and he won’t save them from the consequences of their actions.”

“But he’ll save the two of you.”

“Sort of,” Talia shook her head. “One of the things he won’t do is resurrect me if I die.”

Her half-brother disagreed. “Yeah, but that’s because you asked him not to.”

“It would screw up the chain of command and bring up a whole bunch of inheritance issues if potential heirs could come to life and hold the throne. Besides, you asked the same thing.”

“I asked that he not take any action against whatever kills me. I’m fine with resurrection but if anyone gets revenge on my killer it would be me.”

“Anyway, the point is, we don’t want you to just drop him because you think he’s a horrible person. Not a lot of people make him happy the way you do.”

“This is great but I still don’t understand why you think we’re dating!”

* * *

“So Talia and I met your Kitty last month.”

“Oh, what did you think about her?”

“She’s way too good for you.”

“Kitty’s nicer than I am but I hardly think she’s out of my league.”

“Nicer as in a lower body count? Yeah, she’s miles above you Dad.”

“So you liked her? That’s good.”

“We both did. Talia said if you screw this one up, she’ll stab you.”

“How rude. Just because I can bring myself back to life, doesn’t mean that dying doesn’t hurt.”

“We know. Take it as a sign of just how much Talia likes her that she’s willing to do that. She also said it’s kind of creepy you picked someone who’s young enough to be a granddaughter but it’s understandable.”

“Talia’s not that much older than Kitty. And Kitty’s very mature.”

“Uhuh. You just keep telling yourself that.”


	9. Ensecret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspiration video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yw7DrPMpOLM&t=207s

The town of Hameln had woken to a lovely stage on their town common that wasn’t there yesterday.  A wooden wagon had been set up, with signs advertising a play ‘Ensecret’ to be performed by the world’s most lifelike marionettes.  The owner, an indigo man with featureless golden eyes and dressed in an impeccable white suit and top hat, wandered around town, passing out flyers and answering questions.

“No, no human performers at all.”

“Handmade.  Carved them myself.”

“Just a copper half-penny.  Children under the age of twelve are free.”

“Performance will be in the evening, an hour after sunset.”

“Action and romance.  Two lovers separated by an evil wizard and how they defeat the wizard and reunite.”

At the allotted time, over half the town was out on the green to watch the performance.  Behind the curtain, a wooden block banged to alert the audience that the play was starting.  Music, led by a flute, piped out of the wagon as the curtain drew back on the first scene, of the lovers meeting in the woods.

* * *

When the fourth scene had ended (the male lover discovers the corpse of the female lover and the theft of the evil wizard) only one pair of hands clapped.  From the backstage, the puppeteer appeared, a wide smile on his craggy face.  He looked over the wooden audience.  “Well done.  Not only the spectators but the entire town in only four scenes.  It’s unfortunate they missed the final act, that one’s always my favorite.  And you even got Spade animated too!  But was it enough?”

Heart ignored him, diving into the backstage while Spade and Clover glared.  “How long has it been this time?” asked Spade grimly.

The puppeteer tilted his head and adopted a thoughtful expression on his face.  “Hmm, since the last performance?  About a decade.  I’d suggest the three of you grab some newspapers on your way out.  Otherwise, you are going to have a hard time adjusting.”

Heart came back to the stage.  When Spade and Clover looked at her she just shook her head.  “Diamond’s still a doll.”

Clover turned to the sorcerer angrily.  “How long are you going to keep us in bondage like this?  I know we tried to steal from you but haven’t we more than repaid the paltry amount we tried to lift?”

“One century of service or until you’ve absorbed enough life energy to reanimate yourselves completely.  And as for whether the punishment fits the crime, well, I would have been more lenient, if you hadn’t tried to knife me during the robbery, Clover.  You have only yourself to blame.”  White shoulders lifted in an indifferent shrug.  “Oh, but there’s nothing saying you have to stay.  The three of you have successfully returned to your human forms.  You could walk off right now and I’ll consider your part of the bargain fulfilled.”

“We can’t leave Diamond,” stated Heart with determination.  Spade nodded and continued, “We got into this together, we’ll get out the same way.”

Clover ground his teeth but nodded.  “Very well then,” said the sorcerer.  “For doing such a good job tonight, I’ll let you all stay animate for the next few days.  Hmm, a week even.  After that, it’s back to the boxes until the next performance.”


	10. Midnight Circus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspiration Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjBHPvYW3Gk

“Not that I mind helping out,” said Kitty.  “But I didn’t even know Kurt had any living crew members in his circus.”

“Well,” the old barker carefully set a mirror to the side.  “There aren’t many of us.  But occasionally someone will interest him and he’ll ‘acquire’ that individual to join.  Oh, be careful-”  He propped up a gold and blue marionette dressed in a diamond pattern.  “Not to mention sometimes it can be difficult to distinguish between what’s alive and what’s dead.”

The adventuress looked at him out of the corner of hazel eyes.  “And what did you do to attract his attention?”

“I asked.  I was desperate to get out of my town and didn’t know any better,” he responded dryly.

They spent a few minutes shifting things around, looking for old luggage or any containers they could use.  “What is he like?  As a boss or whatever.”

“Well, he’s not completely terrible.  I’ve survived decades working under him.  He does have a temper though.  With him, it’s better to go unnoticed, rather than be subject to the spotlight.”  The old man sat down to take a break.  Picking up his accordion, he played a mournful tune on it.

“Let me tell you about something that happened in the first year I joined the  _cirque.”_

* * *

It only took a few days for him to notice how strange the circus was.  Oh, there were the usual animals, clowns, and acrobats.  But once they were on the road everything got unusually quiet.  The animals made no noise, no one talked to each other.  There was only the creak and grind of the wagons moving.  At night, only a couple of the wagons would light up, and only and a small handful of the crew would show up for meals.  And after the family of tumblers left them at the next town, it was only him, the ringmaster and the four stars of the show.

There was the aerialist who loved to sing and even off the stage could always be found somewhere high up.  The feral girl who growled and was kept locked up except at meal times.  And finally, the twin acrobats who helped out with the other acts, one as the target for the knife thrower and the other with a living statue act.

Those evenings . . . the other performers always seemed so uneasy.  But not, as he would have expected, about the unusual silence of the other crew members.  Instead, they seemed to shrink in fear from the master of ceremonies.  He couldn’t understand why.  Of all the crew, the master, despite his appearance, was probably the least creepy.  He actually talked and ate and slept like a normal person.  And yet the other four were afraid of him while they ignored the other workers.

One evening, the ringmaster was frowning at the four stars.  “Lately, I’ve been noticing a decline in the quality of your performances.”  Well, he hadn’t but maybe he just hadn’t been here long enough.  “That’s unacceptable.  You will work harder or I will return you to the state I found you in.”  With that, the MC stood and left the remnants of his meal for clean-up.  

The boy was on dish duty with the aerialist that night.  While one of the clowns helped clear the kitchen and dealt with composting the trash (funny how he hadn’t seen him eat and was still silent) he asked the aerialist what that was about.  “What, did he buy you gals from a brothel or something?”

She smiled distractedly at him.  “Not quite.  It’s a little more complicated than that.”  And no matter which of the four he asked, they never said anything else about it.

Finally a few weeks later, he got his answer, in the worst possible way.  The ringmaster had received a very official looking letter.  He immediately changed their schedule, bypassing the next city on their route for a small town in the middle of nowhere.  And then he ordered that all four stars be part of an aerialist act.

The evening initially went fine.  The crew was back to being their active, social selves.  People were wandering in, buying food, watching the acts, playing the games.  Then the highlight of the show came around and everything went to hell.

The boy had been allowed the evening off after the main event had started, only ordered to stay inside the carnival area and not go exploring.  So he decided to sneak into the backstage and watch the show.  He watched as the crew hauled on ropes to hoist the four women into the air.  And then …

He wasn’t sure what happened but they fell.  In hindsight, he’d realize the backstage ropes had never gone slack but the front ropes had clearly frayed and torn.  He’d remember thinking that he saw the ringmaster’s face above in the shadows of the tent and dismissing it as his imagination.  He’d never forget the fact that four women went up but when the ropes failed, there no human bodies to be found on the floor.  Instead, a goat, a broken-winged bird, and two small horses were found smashed.

He didn’t have time to think about it then.  As soon as the act failed, he heard people screaming.  Running outside the tent, he saw the lights burst into infernos, scorching everything around them.  And the crew members … transforming into monstrous abominations that chased down the peasant folk and ate them.  “Oops,” the boy felt a hand come down on his shoulder.  “I guess I should have ordered you to stay indoors tonight.”  The ringmaster smiled down at him.

“W-what’s going on?”

“Just doing a little social engineering.  This town was very unfriendly to people like me.  I thought a little negative reinforcement might be in order.”  A three-fingered hand patted him on his head.  “Run along to your wagon, little barker.”

And the boy did.

* * *

“And you stayed with him after that?”

The old man shrugged.  “I was in a devastated town with no people or infrastructure left intact.  It was stay with the  _cirque_  or die.”

“Stil … you didn’t run away at the first opportunity?”

“I didn’t even know how to read when I first joined.  Believe me, there weren’t many options available for a farm boy who couldn’t read and whose only skill was playing the accordion.  By the time I thought I could make it by myself, I knew I was safe as long as I didn’t act against him.”

“I guess that explains how you got old enough to retire,”  Kitty stated dubiously.

“I like traveling but these bones are getting too old to be on the road all the time.  Taking a desk job as part of the Guild seems like a good choice.”  Kitty and the old accordionist had managed to find enough suitcases and containers to begin packing stuff away.  “Just to be clear, he isn’t like that to most of his performers.  They stay for a while, then usually retire to stay in one place, like me.  But the ones who are fired, or the ones who joined under dubious circumstances, like those thieves,” he gestured to the four marionettes she had almost dropped.  “He tends to punish them very harshly.”

“And for the others?  The ones who don’t retire and don’t incur his displeasure?”

“The ones who die on the road?”  The old man strode over to a large black coffin.  He pulled it open to reveal the body of a beautiful woman.  She was dressed in an elaborate black ballgown, with black crepe roses trimming the bodice and a black butterfly mask covering her face.  Kitty had seen her before, as a singer in the carnival.  “This is what happens to those people.”


	11. Carnival of Rust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspiration Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKk1u5RMTn4

Kitty cringed a little walking through the gate. She’d come to Kurt’s circus several times before but this looked downright depressing. Maybe it was just the fact it was night and grey and raining today that kept the customers away. She looked around to see who she could talk to.

Just beyond the gate were two musicians. She almost stopped to ask them to guide her but when she looked into their eyes she saw the black irises that identified them as being of the undead. She walked past them, the automatons wouldn’t be able to help her. She continued searching, looking for the few living crew members among the undead who would be able to respond to her.

There was a tattoo booth staffed with the living to her left. She almost went to them but then the customer leered and waved to her so she tugged her sweater over her dress and continued on. She passed a roller coaster and a carousel, then turned around to try the right of the gate instead. Kitty first encountered two fire eaters. Again she almost stopped but changed her mind. The scaly features and sharp teeth reminded her that not all of Kurt’s crew was human, and many were . . . unsafe to humans. She finally settled on the man running the ‘Break for Freedom’ stall. Looking at the sign, she wondered if that described his situation too.

“Hello, darling, want to try to win a dolly?” Kitty sighed.  _Every bloody time …_  She forked over some cash, silently thanking Bobby for teaching her to pitch, then smashed three of the targets with the balls. When the carnie reached up to grab the doll for her, she put her hand out to stop him. “All I’d like is to know where the Ringmaster is.”

“Oh, I don’t-”

“I’m here with his payment from Excalibur.”

“Of course. He’s manning the Fortune Teller’s tent.” Kitty turned and walked away, ignoring the itching sensation between her shoulders. The stall runner might not have been dead but the immovable smile and steady, cheerful voice were quite unnerving. Even as she left his expression and speech hadn’t changed at all.

She ducked into the tent indicated and waited for her eyes to adjust. “Good to see you again,  _liebchen._ I wasn’t expecting you.”

If the outdoors were gloomy, it was nearly impossible to see anything inside. She could barely make out the table, topped with a red cloth on which a pack of cards and a crystal ball sat. There were only three chairs, one with Kurt in a red and black suit, and two for customers. Around them, the bamfs played and fidgeted, their yellow eyes shining in the dark.

“You knew you’d see me soon enough.” She closed the entrance to the tent. “Not a lot of customers this time.”

The necromancer waved off her concerns. “A cold, wet day like this, and in the middle of the week too, I’m not surprised. I was half tempted to tell the living to take the day off completely.”

Kitty passed over the bag. “Why gemstones this time?”

He poured them out on the table in front of him, checking their quality in the dim light. “I have an idea I want to try out. The gemstones will be part of it. Also, jewels are more valuable per weight than gold. Whatever’s left after the project will be sufficient for the work I did on your last mission.” She nodded, mind already elsewhere. Before she could leave, his tail wrapped around her wrist and pulled her down into one of the chairs across from him. “Is something wrong? You’re usually more talkative than this.”

Kitty briefly considered phasing away but on the other hand . . . it’s not like Kurt would care, right? Maybe she should take Rachel’s advice and just get things off her chest. “Things are a little awkward with Excalibur right now.”

“Did you get in a fight with someone? Rachel perhaps?”

“Not at all. It’s just … my ex-boyfriend joined Excalibur and I’m not sure how to act with him.”

“Was it a bad break-up?”

“We parted on amicable terms. However, we never expected to be working with each other again. Not to mention Peter’s been giving me hints that he wants to get back together again and I’m not sure I want that.”

“So tell him no.”

“I’m not sure I don’t want it either.”

“What it sounds like is that you want some time to yourself to think about things.”

“Exactly!” She calmed herself down. “Brian suggested I take a vacation too, so it’s not like there’s a problem leaving Excalibur for a while. But where would I go?”

“Visiting your parents? Damien usually visits me or Talia when he has time off.”

“Dead already.” At his look of concern, she flashed a smile. “Nothing tragic, they were simply very old. And it was several years ago so I’ve gone through  _shneim asar chodesh_  for both of them.”

“I was going to offer to bring them back for you.”

“Thanks but no thanks. They’ve lived full lives, they deserve to rest now. And my mom’s last illness was very hard, she asked that her life not be extended and I’d like to honor that.”

“As you wish,” he settled back in the chair, scooping up the jewels and tossing the bag to a nearby bamf.

Kitty looked around at the cards, the crystal ball and other knickknacks in the tent. “This is all fake, isn’t it?”

Teeth flashed in the dark. “Yes. Sometimes I’m lucky enough to get a real precognitive or telepath to join for a while. Usually, I just find people good at cold-reading or take the role myself.”

Hazel eyes narrowed. “Do the real ones run away from you?”

“Maybe!” Kitty laughed at how happy he sounded at the accusation. “So got any advice for me,  _Madame_  Kurt?” She rolled a silver coin with King Magneto’s head on it across the table to him. He flicked it back with his tail.

“As a matter of fact, I do! Why not work for me for a while? It would give you time to sort out your mind while seeing more of the world.” Kitty was about to dismiss the thought but paused and actually contemplated it for a while.

“I … actually, that does like a good idea. But what would I do? I don’t like being idle.”

“You could help me with some of my projects. You’re good at sealwork and adapting things, both of which I could use an extra pair of hands and ideas for.”

“Umm … “

“As for the  _cirque_ , I think you would make an excellent tightrope act. Given your awakening ability, you wouldn’t have to worry about taking a fall.”

“Two objections.”

“Go ahead.”

“First, I specialize in breaking curses and finding traps. I don’t want to work on a project that’s only designed to hurt people.”

“This should be fine then. I’m working on a way to use crystals to tap into the communications network of the Shi’ar Empire.”

“I guess that won’t kill people directly, although I’m sure every government in the world will be interested in that.”

“If they want it when it’s done, they can pay for the privilege.”

“And if they want to stop the work before it’s completed?”

He tucked his hands under his chin and his smile widened to manic proportions. “They can try. And yes, I’ll protect you too. Now, what’s the second objection?”

“I did help your barker move to the Capital for his retirement. During the process he told me a lot of stories about working for you. Especially the first four divas he met.”

“Is this about my killing them? Because I assure you, that situation doesn’t happen very often.”

“You couldn’t … “ she made an awkward gesture with her hands. “Just turn them back and sell them off?”

“That wouldn’t be much kinder. At least the way I did it, their deaths were quick and painless.” He sighed and the humor dropped out of his voice. “Here.” The sorcerer pricked his thumb with a dagger and dropped the blood into a magical circle he conjured. “I swear on my life I’ll not willingly kill you while you’re working for me. Good enough?”

“I can’t help feeling there’s a lot of loopholes in that vow, but I’m not a lawyer.” She hesitated, then shook his (non-bleeding) hand. “Alright then. I’ll go pick up my stuff from Excalibur. Will you still be here this weekend?”

“We only got here today, and will be in this town for a week.”

“Okay. I’ll let you know if something comes up and prevents me from joining you.” She untied the entrance and ducked back out again.

Kurt hid a smile behind folded hands. Part one to lure Sprite to work for him instead of Excalibur was complete. Now to make sure the transfer would be permanent.


	12. Tela Iactor

“Here.”  Kurt dumped a handful of knives in front of Kitty.  “Activate your awakening ability and make sure these won’t hurt you.”

“Uh, what’s this for?”

“Remember that you were asking what acts you can perform.  If I’m going to have knives thrown at a live target, I’m going to make sure it’s as safe as I can get it.”

“And tightrope walking without a net isn’t scary enough?”

“The walking will take longer to learn and you train for that on the road.  The knife throwing act only requires you to stay still and have good control of your power.  So how confident are you?”

Kitty side-eyed him but pushed her plate away and picked up one of the knives.  Dropping it from a height, it went straight through her hand and into the table.  She raised her hand, showing it’s unharmed state to the ringmaster.

“ _Gut_.  When you’re done with your meal, come meet me outside to work on the safety precautions a bit more.”

“I’ve lost my appetite.”  Kitty stood and followed him immediately.  When they got to the backdrop for the act, he quickly put her in restraints.  Stepping back, he said, “Now try to phase out from them.”  Arching an eyebrow, she did and took a few steps away from the wooden panel.  “Alright, sometimes things happen and you’ll need to get out fast.  So the restraints won’t hinder you.  I’ve seen you fall a few times using your power but can you stay up while phased.”

“I can.  I have to actively move around to change my altitude while phased.”  She demonstrated, making a few leaps to stop above his head, then circling back down.

“So you won’t fall if you remained phased.  Alright, how about we practice the act for a little while?”  He had her run through a brief routine, from entry to the rings to mounting the target.  “The knife thrower is going to be a corpse, does that bother you?”

Kitty shook her head.  “It’s fine.  Your zombies are a bit like automatons, they don’t change or get tired or angry or anything that might throw its aim off.  Definitely better off than trusting my life to a human thrower.”

“Alright, I’m going to try throwing the knives at you.  Be ready to activate your power.  And don’t worry about what kind of expression you make, we can adjust the act to match if you’re afraid or calm or even if you want to look seductive.”  He ended up throwing over three dozen knives at her, stating that she seemed to go for the blank look.  Although he didn’t hit her, the blades got very close, some of them she could even feel as the slid into the wood.  Finally, he had the last knife in his hand.  “There’s something I want to try for the finale but your power will have to be activated.  Will this cause a problem?”

“I’m not sure.  I can try pulsing my power to make it last longer, but eventually, I’m going to run out of reserves.  Will the act be as long as this because that would be very taxing.”

“No, in the real show, it will only be a dozen knives.  I wanted to test you this time.  Since you made it through the practice with no slip-ups, you should be fine during the show.”  He balanced the blade between two fingers.  “What if we set it up that this is always the last dagger?  You might have to use your ability if something strange comes up but this is the only part where you must be phased?”

“I think I can do that.  Wait, what are you trying to do?”

He leaned back to throw.  “This would be fatal with anyone else.  But don’t worry, even if you slip up I’ll just bring you back to life.”  Afraid, Kitty activated her power and just in time as the last knife went straight through her heart.  As she tried to calm down, the ringmaster looked over in approval.  “Very nice and dramatic.  I tried doing this with a corpse but that pesky ribcage kept getting in the way.”

Kitty stayed phased, slipping out of the restraints and walking over to Kurt.  He looked down at her with a confused expression on his face.

She slapped him.  “You jerk!  You should have warned me!”

He rubbed the cheek she had slapped.  “I thought I had.”

“Next time say something like, Kitty I’m going to throw this knife into your chest.  Not ‘Don’t worry I can just bring you back to life if something goes wrong.’“

“ _Es tut mir leid._ How can I make it up to you?”

“You just spent most of an hour throwing knives at me.  I think I should get the chance to do the same to you.”

“ _Das scheint gleich zu sein._ It would probably be a useful skill as an adventurer too. _”_ With that, the sorcerer handed over the knives and got up on the stand.

Kitty looked down at the blades.  She hadn’t actually expected him to agree to that.  Still, she probably wouldn’t get an opportunity to do this again … she tried to copy the stance Kurt had taken and deliberately aimed to the edge of the board.  She didn’t really want to hurt him, just scare him a bit.

Which meant, of course, that she ended up sinking the knife just to the left of his sternum, sliding in between the ribs.

Kitty dropped all the knives in shock and ran over to the board.  Despite it being mere seconds ago, the older man was already limp.  “Oh my God, what do I do now?” she whispered.

“What’s going-oh!”  It was the stallkeeper she had asked information from before.  “Again?”

“What do you mean again!” she shrieked.  “Has this happened before?”

“Look, he does this all the time with newbies.”  With that, the man grabbed the knife pinning the sorcerer to the board and (with some effort) pulled it out.  He tossed it away and the body slumped to the side.  When Kitty reached out, he stopped her.  “Just wait.”

Five seconds.

Ten seconds.

Twenty seconds.  “Alright, now you’re just faking it.  Get up before she runs away screaming.”  With that, Kurt did stand up, only pausing to cough up a blood clot.  “Ach, just because I can resurrect myself, doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt, Katzchen.  Please be more careful next time.”  The stall runner had wandered away while she stared in horror.

Kitty backed away until she felt a crate behind her, then sat on that crate.  “ _Liebling_?  Are you alright?  I just meant that as a practical joke.”

“I think I need to lie down.”

“ _Na sicher_.”  He picked her up and brought her back to the wagon that had been set aside for her.  “Don’t worry, this week’s just for getting to know your way around.  I don’t expect you to start working until we make it to our next destination.”

Kitty nodded, then closed her eyes.  When the swish of his tail had faded, she opened them again.  This was going to take more getting used to than she had thought.


	13. Opening Act

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics from 'Let Me Entertain You' from the musical 'Gypsy' and 'Wilkommen' from the musical 'Cabaret'.

You weren’t sure about coming to the show this evening, but heck, the circus only comes to your town once every five years or so.  And it wasn’t too expensive, so you might as well give it a try.  You line up, pay the fee and enter the big top.  There are a bit too many people for your taste but it’s only one night.  You can endure it for one night.  A vendor comes by and you buy a bottle of something sweet and cold for the evening and settle in to wait.  After all the seats are filled the vendors leave and the lanterns are extinguished.

_Let me entertain you  
Let me make you smile_

A glow lit up the top of the tent.  There you can see a young girl, all pale hair and dark blue lace and a small umbrella standing there.  She dances over the wire, moving as if she hadn’t a care in the world.  She’s wearing bangles and anklets and the light catches every movement she makes.

_Let me do a few tricks  
Some old tricks and some new tricks_

She smiles and tosses the parasol into the air, then does a backflip on the wire, catching the umbrella as it comes down again.  She slides into a split while she continues singing.

_I’m very versatile_

She spins to face the entrance.  A few bounces on her knees, then up for another flip.  But when she comes down, she misses the wire and starts to plummet.  Many people scream, including you when-

And then she stops halfway down.  The lights come up and you can see there are no wires, no support at all.  She standing in midair like she was on solid ground but there’s nothing there!

She starts to sing again while the other performers rush into the rings.  Clowns, acrobats, animals all give a brief glimpse of the later acts but all eyes are on the girl slowly descending like she’s on a grand staircase.

 _And if you’re real good_  
I’ll make you feel good  
I want your spirits to climb

The skirt and sleeves of her dress fly out like wings as she continues to dance in mid-air, slowly descending and bringing your attention down to the other acts.

 _So let me entertain you_  
We’ll have a real good time  
Yes sir  
We’ll have a real good time

She’s almost at the bottom when an indigo-hued man dressed in a white suit appears in a burst of smoke and lifts her off her non-existent stair and twirls her around.  She gives him a brief kiss then skips off.  The ringmaster moves to the forefront and begins to speak, moving your attention off the girl and onto himself.

“ _Willkommen, Freunde und Fremde, meine Damen und Herren! Guten Abend! Heute Abend sind wir hier, um Sie zu unterhalten! Mit Magie und Mysterium, Nervenkitzel und Nervenkitzel! Also lehnen Sie sich zurück und genießen Sie die Show!”_ You have no idea what he’s saying but you think he’s introducing the show.  Most of the crowd clears out of the ring, and the lights focus on the central ring.  Three young acrobats flip into the ring while music starts up all around you.

You came from the lack of anything better to do.  You’re glad that you did.


	14. Markings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW

Kurt came in a rush that whited out his vision and left him gasping for air. As he recovered his senses, he felt delicate fingers tracing over his abdomen. Looking down, he saw Kitty tracing over his scars with his cum. She froze when she realized he was looking at her. “Sorry. I’ll stop.”

“No need, that felt  _very_  good. But why were you doing it?”

She flushed a rosy shade of pink. “I, well, your scars have always fascinated me, from the very first time we met. And looking at the contrast between, um,” she made a vague gesture over his torso. “And your fur . . . I couldn’t resist.”

He lay back down again. “If you keep doing that, you’re going to end up with a lot more ‘paint’ very quickly.”

“You don’t mind?” But she was reaching out, trailing her fingers through what had pooled already.

He’d come once but could feel his cock twitch with interest. “Not at all. Is there anything you want me to do?”

“Could you hold still? I don’t want to smear.” Kurt raised his hands to grip the bars of the headboard, then did the same with his feet. He wasn't’ quite sure where to place his tail but then wound it around her thigh on a whim. Then he closed his eyes.

That proved to be the real test. Without vision to distract him, it made the sensations of her digits trailing over his flesh that much more intense. He also didn’t see where she was looking, so when she switched from his abdomen to tracing the patterns on his inner thighs the surprise nearly made him come. He gritted his teeth and focused on breathing slowly so he wouldn’t mess up her work.

Kitty’s touch was quite delicate. Not feather-light, he could definitely feel every line and curve that she drew. But she wasn’t pressing in either so he was left with a maddening tickle that took effort for him to not seek a firmer touch. Her hands were surprisingly cold, something her ex Peter had complained about. Kurt didn’t see the problem, the contrast between her wintry touch and his overheated flesh was delicious.

She’d just switched back to his nipples when he realized he was approaching the point of no return. “Kitty, wait,  _bitte._ I’m about to come.”

She drew back, and he let out a sigh. He started taking a few deep breaths and holding them, trying to get his excited body under control again. Then one cool finger traced up the vein on the underside of his cock and he lost it completely, coming with a scream all over himself.

When he opened his eyes this time, she was frowning down at him. “ _Was ist dieses mal falsch?”_

She looked up, confusion clear in her eyes. “Huh?”

“What’s wrong?”

“Oh, nothing.” She grinned then and picked up a towel from the nightstand. “You just happened to smear over everything I did so the whole thing is ruined.” She didn’t appear too upset because she was gentle when cleaning him off. Kurt let go of the head- and footboards and rubbed the feeling back into his appendages. He’d been gripping them so tightly he was surprised he hadn’t broken anything. The sorcerer also unwound his tail from Kitty’s thigh and made a note to give her some salve for the bruises tomorrow. He hadn’t intended to hold her so tightly but the whole session had pushed his control to the limit then broken it.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to return the favor? It seems a little unfair that you got me off twice and you haven’t even come once.” She shook her head then climbed into bed to cuddle with him. “No thanks, I’m just not feeling it tonight. Getting you off was fun but I’m tired now.”

“Fine, I’ll take a raincheck on the two orgasms I owe you. Any requests in particular?”

She traced one finger over the design on his clavicle. “Could we do this again? I didn’t actually get very far.”

His cock twitched again to let him know his body definitely approved and he forcibly reminded himself that she was tired and not in the mood for another round. “That sounds like an excellent idea. But next time I’ll buy you some real body paint.”


End file.
